Because Sugar and Cartoons Should Be Stimulating Enough
By Sienna Day
Sugar is more addictive than a lot of drugs and a lot better for your health (which is saying something since sugar is not exactly “healthy”). Of all the sugary items out there, it is scientifically proven that you should eat dark chocolate because it is best for antioxidant-ing your insides. You can have other sugars if you want; it’s not up to me to tell you what dessert is best (because you already know that answer is chocolate).
Starting a business is another fantastic idea for anyone looking for a way to spend their time that doesn’t involve the d-r-u-g-s word (and no, I don’t mean starting a business involved in that word either).
Another alternative to the thing-that-must-not-be-named is gaming. Just as addictive but way more fun, playing video games is a way to rot your brain in a good way! While playing, you get immersed in amazing games of racing, world-building, and even free-for-all, kill-or-be-killed games (because you can never have too many hyphens)!
I feel like I bring up this one a lot, but it’s important. Homework, homework, homework. Sometimes it may seem fun to go out and try or do new things (like the thing that starts with “d” and rhymes with pugs), but not if you have a 10-page essay due tomorrow that you haven’t started. In your free time, finish your homework, and when you’re done with that, do next week’s homework or do your friend’s homework (okay, maybe not that one).
At Walla Walla University, there is a large variety of clubs to join. These clubs are each unique and all have fun ways to meet others in that particular group. Whether you get to make new friends through the club or get help on homework, at least you’re getting something productive out of it, unlike other certain things you could be doing *cough cough* drugs.
Believe it or not, fresh air is actually very good for you. It has a certain “je ne sais quois” that makes it very appealing (although that might just be because air is necessary for life). Whether you like fresh air or not, I suggest it as an alternative to drug use as it is free and widely available.
When trying to find an alternative to doing drugs, why not get a job? Working allows you to earn money while also enabling you to spend more time with people (or with your computer, depending on the type of job). Get a job at a bakery making croissants. Go work for The Collegian and write informative or hilarious articles. No matter what job you choose, the money—I mean experience, will be worth it. Money is just a bonus, obviously.
Memorize digits of pi (or eat pie, whatever you prefer) to not only be productive, but to learn something you will definitely need to know at some point in life (people only get impressed up to a certain point though, so memorizing more than 1,000 might be overkill). Or, as I said earlier, you could just eat pie.
Watch “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” then watch it again. Depending on what type of person you are, your response to this might be, “I have already watched that a dozen times but I guess I’ll watch it again!” or, “That’s an animated cartoon, I don’t watch kid shows!” If your response is the second one, I feel sorry for you. If your response is neither, then definitely watch this because it will take your mind off other activities you could be doing and instead immerse you in a drug-free world (apart from that questionable cactus juice scene).
As you can see, there are many alternatives to using drugs. So don’t.
My name is Sienna Day and I’m a Freshman/Sophomore at WWU. My major is English (I know, big surprise) with an emphasis in creative writing. When I’m not writing for the humor column, I like to spend my time research random things, binge-watching Netflix, and partaking in martial arts. I also spend many hours a week working on a six-book series I hope to publish in the next few years!