An Experiment Conducted on the Sweetness of Candy Corn.
By Sienna Day
Candy corn is one of the most iconic kinds of candy eaten during this season, yet its characteristically extreme sweetness can make it a tough one to swallow—at least for some.
I have before me a bowl of candy corn. It has been measured out to the exact serving size (15 pieces) to start with. These pieces remain uneaten so far, but I am about to dig in and give you a rundown on how I’m feeling after each piece I consume.
To be honest, I am a big chocolate fan myself and rarely stray beyond that cocoa-y goodness. I haven’t had candy corn for years, so I guess we’ll see how this goes and hopefully by the end I will have enlightened you on this candy. More importantly, I hope to share with you just how many pieces of candy corn you can eat without getting tired of it, so you will never have to go through this pain.
Piece 1: With this piece I decided to start from the white tip and work my way down, and wow is this sugary! I can already tell that I will be drinking several gallons of water today just to combat the sweetness.
Piece 2: Yellow end first. Do people actually eat it that way? Anyways, it tasted completely different starting this way (not any less sweet if that’s what you’re wondering).
Piece 3: I went for it, you guys. I popped the whole thing into my mouth at once. Time to pause for a long swig of delectable, refreshing water.
Piece 4: In an attempt to decrease the quantity of candies in the bowl, I decided to toss this next one into my mouth. Let me tell you, I’m terrible at both throwing and catching, but somehow that little candy corn went right into my mouth first try. That’s what I get for trying to cheat, I suppose.
I took a break here to randomly text my friend if she or anyone she knows would enjoy some free candy corn. I asked because I still have an entire bag full that I know for a fact will not be finished by me. Not after I’m done with the ones in this bowl.
Piece 5: I bit into it from the side this time. Why do I keep eating it differently? Will it make it more edible?
Piece 6: Half of my previously full water bottle is already gone. I am starting to have a water-bottle-half-full kind of view on finishing this candy (get it?). They lied about the serving size, by the way. I know this because an average person shouldn’t be able to eat more than five, let alone fifteen!
Another pause to check my word count, which partially determines the number of candy corns I have to—I mean get, to eat.
Piece 7: Yeah, I’m just glaring/staring at the bowl by this point. I will eat another, but only for you guys, my readers.
Okay, I did it and I can no longer go on. This candy has destroyed my sweet tooth for today, and probably the rest of my life.
There you have it: the max someone can eat is about seven. I basically just subjected myself to actual torture while eating those last ones.
In case you were wondering how my taste buds were doing after this experiment, I think my tongue is broken. The only taste in my mouth is of those tri-colored, corn syrup-filled sweets!
I think I’m going to become a veggie-ONLY-tarian. In other words, I will live purely on vegetables for the rest of my life and never touch another sugary item. No fruit (too much fructose), no candy corn (for obvious reasons), and no chocolate (just kidding, chocolate doesn’t count).
My name is Sienna Day and I’m a Freshman/Sophomore at WWU. My major is English (I know, big surprise) with an emphasis in creative writing. When I’m not writing for the humor column, I like to spend my time research random things, binge-watching Netflix, and partaking in martial arts. I also spend many hours a week working on a six-book series I hope to publish in the next few years!