The Only Game Plan You Need
By Sienna Day
The first strategy that you should implement in this sport is befriending the goalie. I know this sounds pointless, but trust me, it works. While you are telling the goalie a chuckle-worthy joke, it will give your teammates the perfect opportunity to score a goal.
There are two goals in soccer as far as I can tell: to score in the opposing team’s goal and to not let them score in yours. There is a simple solution to the latter: form a defensive circle around your goal and dare them to pass your superb defense. The only problem is that your own team might not be able to score a goal, but that’s a problem for another day.
Pretending that the goal ball is the face of your least favorite person can work wonders on your power and accuracy. The more you dislike them, the better your aim will be and the more surprised your teammates will be at how amazing you’re doing. They may even ask you what your secret for playing so well is!
A second strategy in this sport is to look up the rules, because chances are, your opponents have not done that. It is very simple and may seem obvious to most people, but not everyone knows the rules to this game (even though it is so common). You can even impress the referees with your knowledge of the game.
One of the problems with volleyball in general is not being able to reach over the net very well. To help with this problem, feel free to use some of these play ideas: bring something to stand on, jump onto another player and get boosted up, or stand on their shoulders. These plays can be quite tricky, so make sure to practice before you use them in a live match.
Find a nearby beach (or sand volleyball court if you don’t feel like driving a few miles to a beach) and run several miles on the sand for fun. Not only is this a great workout, but your sand-running expertise will set you apart from your opponents and make you invincible.
Like most sports, in volleyball, unpredictability is key. This is why I propose that you come up with the most absurd and unheard of ways to pass, set, hit, and serve the ball. Maybe do a 360-degree turn before you serve or pass with your elbows. The more unique, the better, because no one ever expects the unexpected.
The first strategy, of course, is to brush up on your mathematics skills. Cornhole is all about trajectory, wind, and the butterfly effect, so learning how to calculate those things in a couple of seconds will help you step up your cornhole game.
Try to use telekinesis (moving the bean bag with your mind), because why not? How do you know it doesn’t work if you’ve never tried it? And if you have tried to move things with your mind before (admit it, we all have) then you probably have never tried it with cornhole. Either way, it’s worth a shot!
The very first strategy to winning this sport is learning how to dunk, no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you are of a slightly shorter build or not the best jumper. Dunking is about having heart and believing in yourself, so if you think you can dunk, you totally can.
Always practice your half court shots. This type of shot is not only valuable to know in a basketball skills competition, but it totally carries over into a live basketball game.
If you enjoy video games, play basketball games that are 100% realistic and will help you become better at basketball. Games I recommend are NBA 2K, NBA Live, or really any video game with the word “NBA” in it, apparently.
A final tip: the key to making any basketball trick more impressive is closing your eyes, so definitely try this. It’s really easy.
Watch the past Olympic Games to see how they speed walk and run. They are the best of the best, so clearly it will be helpful and easy to learn for this 5k.
Pretend you will win a million dollars if you win this race, and spend the entire run/walk thinking about what you will spend that million on. If a million doesn’t work, use a billion or a quadrillion.
Lastly, have someone chase you (or pretend someone is chasing you). Running for your life is a good motivation to run and it will never fail because adrenaline never fails.
Good luck to everyone participating in intramurals!
My name is Sienna Day and I’m a Freshman/Sophomore at WWU. My major is English (I know, big surprise) with an emphasis in creative writing. When I’m not writing for the humor column, I like to spend my time research random things, binge-watching Netflix, and partaking in martial arts. I also spend many hours a week working on a six-book series I hope to publish in the next few years!