Applying The Six S’s Of Wine Tasting To All Aspects of Life
By Sienna Day
Color says a lot about everything. For wine, color tells you what type of grape was used and what wood it was soaked in (why would anyone want a drink soaked in trees?). What’s nice about this tip is that it can be applied in everyday life!
When pointing out colors to others, make sure to use the name of the exact shade that it is. Don’t say blue, say “glimmering sapphire.” Red should really be “raspberry jam.” Green isn’t actually green, but rather “forest of pine.”
You also learn from wine to judge everything by the cover or label. When you go pick out wine, the only thing to look at is the label, so just do that with everything else. Go to the bookstore and pick out a book based solely on the cover and title. Choose what snack you want from the store based on the name and colors. Go to a restaurant and pick out a dish based on how difficult the name is to pronounce.
For wine, you swirl the drink to see if it has legs, but this just makes no sense whatsoever. You don’t have to swirl a drink to know if it has legs because if it did it would just walk away. Instead, I suggest using this step to have a little fun, since swirling drinks looks cool. Just don’t spill anything on your clothes.
When swirling your drink, there are several recommended methods. The figure eight swirl is sophisticated and perfect for cold drinks. Stirring it with a tiny spoon is also used often. Don’t forget the most complex (yet efficient) way to swirl: put your drink in the blender and let it swirl itself.
The smell of anything and everything says a lot. With people, it lets you know their personal hygiene, for food, it lets you know how good or bad it will taste, and for candles, smell determines whether or not it’s room or home worthy.
Just like with colors, you will want to use this step to let everyone know your extensive knowledge of smells. Say things like, “This smells like a summer day in Australia during 2003,” or, “This smells like the combination of my fourth birthday party and what I had for breakfast this morning.” The more detailed your description, the better.
Okay, I admit that this step and the next one might be difficult to do without a liquid or edible item, so if that is the case you can feel free to skip them. Say you just sat down to drink your morning hot chocolate. What are you going to do? Chug the warm drink as fast as you can and hope your throat doesn’t burn (I hope not)? No, instead you are going to sip it slowly and enjoy your drink.
The “sip” step takes this concept to an entirely different level. Each sip shouldn’t take a couple of seconds, but rather 15-30 seconds (if uncultured people are looking at you funny then you’re doing it right). Make sure to pay close attention to the individual flavors here. Normal people would just see it as one combined flavor, but now you know differently.
Taste the vanilla, feel the cinnamon on your tongue, get the whipped cream on your nose (it happens to even the best cocoa connoisseurs). If you taste less than 20 flavors, you’re doing something wrong.
A few sentences earlier I told you to take 15-30 seconds on each sip. Well, for this step you will need to double or triple that number just because. If you don’t savor something for an excessive amount of time, how will you know if you enjoyed it for long enough?
You have probably noticed, but all connoisseurs of wine have this uncanny ability to tell you every single fact about the wine they are drinking, from the wood it was soaked in to the year those grapes were harvested. Although it seems like only they can have this much knowledge, you can too, and not just with wine, but with anything.
Pick up the nearest item to you. It could be a pencil, a poster, a peanut—basically anything but the kitchen sink, which would be difficult to pick up anyway. Complete the first five steps from above, then your eyes should be opened to some extra knowledge about the object you are holding. If you focus extra hard, you might be able to tell the country it was made in, the name of the brand, or even the year it was made. It’s that easy!
My name is Sienna Day and I’m a Freshman/Sophomore at WWU. My major is English (I know, big surprise) with an emphasis in creative writing. When I’m not writing for the humor column, I like to spend my time research random things, binge-watching Netflix, and partaking in martial arts. I also spend many hours a week working on a six-book series I hope to publish in the next few years!