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Know Your Campus Squirrels

Know Your Campus Squirrels

Published January 27, 2000 

In an effort to become more aware of the diversity of the citizens of this college, the Collegian presents this informative look at our little furry friends. 

Fred: Loves to run in circles. Enjoys the taste of grass. 

Timothy: Spends all his time indoors. Afraid of rain. 

Barbara: Has secret passion for JoJo. Enjoys Peanut Buster Parfaits. 

Vlad The Evil: Will one day rule the world. Has a pet weevil.  

Shawna: Atheist. Hated by most squirrels for violin affinity.  

See Also
A old grainy newsprint photo of two women running playing flag football.

Kristin: Oldest squirrel on campus. Writes short poems about bark. 

Lestat: Closet socialist who has always secretly loved Barbara. 

JoJo: The squirrel “jock.” wears only designer clothes and shoes.  

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