Published May 22, 1986
- Join a summer theatre group and play “King Lear” for three months.
- Start a “Hands Across the Atlantic” group, a human chain stretching from the Touchet to Chernobyl, and help clean up their problem.
- Visit Expo ’86.
- Visit Vancouver but don’t go to Expo ’86.
- Go to Des Moines, Iowa, for the world-famous Corn Festival.
- Take a job as a prison counselor and work with men like Nunzio Homelite, who killed 29 people with a chain saw. This will help them fit into society when they get out for good behavior.
- Discover a cause and cure for cancer. Then spend the next school year travelling around giving speeches and collecting accolades.
- Find an alternative for gluten.
- Study for the marriage and family life class you plan to take next fall by watching every episode of “Leave it to Beaver.”
- Organize a search for Amelia Earhart.
- Sign on as a deck hand on a Greenpeace ship and visit exotic ports…like Antarctica.
- Bicycle the San Juans.
- Go to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland.
- Spend a week learning to play golf, tennis or tiddledywinks.
- Disappear with a large collection of LeCarre, Bellow and Michener.
- Take mom up on her offer to let you week the entire garden.
- Ski Mt. Hood in July.
- Buy an old piece of junk sky-blue Cadillac convertible and cruise the length of the Pacific Coast Hiway (U.S. 101) with the top down and the radio blaring from Canada to Mexico.
- Learn how to windsurf. Risk life and limb on the famous Columbia Gorge.
- Spend endless hours by the side of a pool, lake or lawn sprinkler slowly blasting your body to a deep dark tan. Fr best results cover yourself with a thin coating of barbeque sauce and rotate slowly on a spit.
- Go to Hawaii. Try to get a job. Resign yourself to the cruel fate of unemployed beach life. Survive on wild mangoes, coconuts and sneaking into hotel brunches.
- Get a job in your home town flipping burgers. Your big break will come when the “Drive-Thru Window” guy dies and they offer you his coveted position.
- Take summer classes at your local community college. OK, so what if Existentialist Pottery 105 isn’t one of your core requirements. At $20 per quarter hour, what do you have to lose?
- Get lost in Europe. Learn a foreign language the hard way.
- Build a paper mâché replica of the Statue of Liberty with old Collegians. Neat, huh?
